Am I in the twilight
or just past the hinge
Fifty
a week ago
Everything returns at once
not memories…
everything
smell
taste
light
tone
what it meant
This age is strange
I’ve worked hard
done well
well enough
to hide horror
Until it leaks
heated
unguarded
Sharp
an unexpected blade
pressed under the ribs
while holding your eye
I can’t hide it
the trauma shows
I feel the flinch
from those who knew me then
know me now
Two halves
trying to make a whole
The child
fragile
outsider
non-typical
in a place that punished difference
Felt like defect then
Now an edge
The man
standing here
in front of others
taking the line
I will step into fire
for a colleague
if the line is moral
I stand
on almost everything
Serious
to the bone
The child fell at eighteen
years of dark
I am him
and I am what rose
from inside him
in answer
Reclaimed failure of coal
that refused to give up
Capable because of it
They want the diamond
not the damage
Circling, taking
I stand fractured, edge
- UpsilonA